


Poetry Book

by Lesteys



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Mental Health Issues, Poetry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:20:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26098522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesteys/pseuds/Lesteys
Summary: This is a book of my poetry. Please be aware that most of my poetry is extremely depressing and often triggering. There may be some normal poetry in here too, but that will likely be a rare occurrence. Please, please, please proceed with caution and reach out to someone you can trust if you need help.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. The Pills

The pills keep me happy.  
The pills keep me sane.  
I wish I could flush them  
right down the drain.  
  
I don't want to hide it,  
or feel ashamed,  
for this life  
is merely a game.  
  
Your age is your level.  
Your strength is just that.  
Your smarts do you no good,  
especially in combat.

I can’t change course;  
The plot is concrete:  
This story will always  
End in defeat.  
  
So I'll stay alone,  
with my pills and my meds,  
until everyone thinks  
that I am dead.  
  
Then I'll restart  
this life of misery,  
and hope I can find  
a new branch of the story.

One where I choose  
The way my life ends  
And death and I  
Can become great friends.

For here there is nothing;  
Not for me, at least.  
Nothing but anticipation  
For death’s sweet release.


	2. On the Playground

I keep myself away  
from the other kids that play  
so I don't cause anyone harm.

For my heart is cold and empty,  
And this weapon, it tempts me,  
But I can’t end my life just yet.

So I'll sit in the sun  
with my loaded gun,  
until it's done keeping me warm.

Night will fall  
And parents will call,  
Then my plan will be set.

No witnesses around,  
Nothing but the night’s sound,  
That my gunshot might break.

But there is still some hope.  
Someone may help me cope  
Before my life I decide to take.

But if no one retrieves me,  
then it will make easy  
the choice I've yet to make:  
  
To go and live on  
or to use this weapon  
to stop the perpetual ache.


	3. Black

In the depths of my mind  
Where the dark consumes all  
You could find  
The cause of my downfall.

You might see the blades  
The sharp cuts from your words  
As the blood cascades  
Near the nests of blackbirds.

A life once new  
Now old and grey.  
You never knew  
What you did to me that day.

The piercing pain  
Of the self-doubt  
Paired with the strain  
And the need to shout.

I’ll rise again  
To take my place.  
Although I don’t know when,  
It’s not a race.

When I come back  
I’ll make you see  
All that black  
You made me be.

In the end  
When you apologize,  
You may be my friend,  
Even after the lies.


	4. Gossip

Gossip, gossip, everywhere.  
Gossip, gossip, I don’t care.  
If I let it get to me,  
I don’t who I would be.

Gossip, gossip, what a bore.  
Gossip, gossip, just ignore.  
They’re saying things about me,  
I need to simply let it be.

Gossip, gossip, they don’t see.  
Gossip, gossip, they hate me.  
They don’t know where I have been,  
Or that I have dirt on them.

Gossip, gossip, this needs to stop.  
Gossip, gossip, I’ll be on top.  
Unless they repay what they owe,  
I’ll spill everything I know.


	5. Leave

Alone in a great big world of hate,  
The life we have is ours to take.  
A blade in my right, a rope in my left,  
Do I slit my throat? Is that what’s best?  
The noose I have hanging on the wall?  
The razor in the bathroom stall?  
My wrists are scarred and bruised to hell.  
Any way is just as well.  
I need to leave for those I’m near,  
So they may enjoy their time here.


	6. Goodbye

The people here, they make me sick,  
Everyone is just a prick.  
I need to go, somewhere away,  
I need to leave, I cannot stay.  
I can’t handle the words they spread,  
Easily left, like butter on bread.  
They don’t see through the lies,  
The words of those that I despise.  
They cannot hear what names they call,  
It’s like they cannot hear at all.  
They don’t see the hurt they cause,  
When they point out all my flaws.  
They won’t miss me if I go,  
Because my life isn’t just so.  
I guess that I’ll just up and leave,  
At least no one will have to grieve.  
Now you will not have to lie,  
Because this is when I say goodbye.


	7. All Alone

I cry.  
Clipped wings can’t fly.

Used to be an angel,  
Now I’m a banshee.

Can’t control what I feel;  
Stuck in a hole.

Surging pains,  
Through my veins,  
I’ve been slain,  
No, not again.

Half asleep.  
Drugged by monsters of the deep.

Abandoned,   
My friends left me hanging.

Sounds that I can’t hear  
Pound in my ears.

Surging pains,  
Through my veins,  
I’ve been slain,  
No, not again.

Save me from this loneliness,  
Oh, please, from all this hopelessness.

All alone in this world.


	8. What I Need

With my friends,  
But I’m still alone.

I feel lost,  
Though I’m at home.

Here with my friend,  
But the darkness won’t end.

Pay attention please,  
Don’t just ignore me.

In the silence,  
I’m left to my thoughts.

Left with the coulds,  
But also the could nots.

I need to be distracted from the violence that drives me.

Or I might just be consumed by the mask that hides me.

Help me,  
Because that’s what I need.


	9. Guardian Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is actually a song/some lyrics that wrote, not just a poem. It never got put to music, though.

Feeling kinda weary, I’m,  
Getting a bit bleary eyed.

Going slow like a turtle,  
Everything’s like a hurdle,  
That I can’t make.  
It feels so fake.

I need a guardian angel!  
To fix my heart it’s so mangled!

Can’t handle the pain,  
Of the hate in my brain.

They say to keep going,  
Without ever knowing,  
The real me.  
They can’t see,

That I need a guardian angel!  
To fix my heart it’s so mangled!

Can’t handle the pain,  
Of the hate in my brain, yeah.

Trying to stay in the light,  
To not give up the fight.  
It’s hard to keep enduring,  
When the dark’s so alluring.

I need a guardian angel!  
To fix my heart it’s so mangled!

Can’t handle the pain,  
Of the hate in my brain, oh.

Now I’m lost  
Feelin’ hunted  
Knew the cost  
Blades are blunt and  
I hate myself  
Turn on the sink  
Blade off the shelf  
I’m on the brink.

Where was my guardian angel!  
When my heart was so tangled!

I couldn’t handle the pain  
Of the hate in my brain.  
So I said “that’s enough.”  
Then I gave up…

  
Now I’m a guardian angel.


	10. Flee

If you take away the smile

And the childish wile

You'd see the real me.

Would you turn in disgust,

Wish I'd turn to dust,

Or would you simply flee?


	11. Beast

I can't write nice poetry,

And my face isn't pretty,

But I think I'm okay at least.

Until I look inside

And see what I hide,

This unimaginable beast.


	12. Dove

I need to break free

From the cage you don't see

That hides inside my soul.

I have no escape,

So I fix up with tape

This heart that used to be gold.

When you break a spirit,

Nothing can heal it

But unconditional love.

So I'll sit here and wait

Until my cruel fate

Sends my releasing dove.


	13. Kings

In a town with no name

Lives a girl with no aim

But to live and breathe

with ease.

In a town that I'd gone

Lives a man who's a pawn

For the days that remain

Of your reign.

In a place with no life

Lives a woman in strife.

Into her heart she carved,

For her children were starved.

In your mansion of hate,

Just after the gate,

There's plenty for the needy,

But you are greedy.

So these people live on,

Their purpose is gone

Because you the kings

Forgot what war brings.


	14. I’m Sorry

I’m sorry I’m so clingy.

I’m sorry I’m so loud.

I’m sorry that I’m not skinny

And that my head lives in the clouds.

I’m sorry that I’m worthless.

I’m sorry that I cry.

I’m sorry that I’m useless

And that I just want to die.

I’m sorry for being cowardly.

I’m sorry for being stressed.

I’m sorry the dark devoured me

And for being morbidly depressed.

You say it’s not my fault.

You say that it’s all fine.

But your words are a pinch of salt

In the ocean of my mind.

Past insults crash over praise.

Self-doubt foams at the shore.

While I sit here for days

Listening to the pessimistic roar.

I’m sorry I can’t stop it.

I’m sorry it won’t go away.

I’m sorry I won’t admit

To the things I want to say.

Please don’t get attached to me

Like I already am to you,

Because it isn’t easy

Having to leave more than a few.

When I’m gone don’t think back

To the games we used to play.

Don’t regret what you couldn’t ask

Or the things you didn’t say.

I’m leaving because it’s best

For everyone around.

And with one last request

I’ll leave without a sound.

Forgive me for going first.

Forgive me for dying young.

Forgive me for being a curse

And for using the rope I’ve hung.


	15. To Those that Know Me

To those that know me, I’m sorry.

To those that don’t, stay back.

Recently, my mind’s chemistry

Has been a bit out of whack.

I don’t mean to be mistrustful.

I don’t want to seem aloof.

I just don’t want you watching

As I’m jumping off the roof.


	16. These Eyes

These eyes hide emotions you may never see or feel.

These eyes hide an ocean of tears I’ll never unseal.

These eyes show a courage that doesn’t truly exist.

These eyes were discouraged from looking through the mist.

These eyes have seen horrors that could make you shake in fear.

These eyes have seen tortures put upon those held most dear.

These eyes have grown tired of having to play pretend.

These eyes will now retire, never to open again.


	17. Firefly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A poem for my dear friend.

Like a firefly

You light up the night.

Flashing in the sky,

You dare to take flight.

Blessing sweet blossoms

With your sweet glow,

Across fields of Autumn

You silently go.

A hope in the dark,

A natural beauty,

A simple spark,

A tiny cutie.

So many facets

To your sweet face.

A kindness so classic

Within your embrace.

All this to say

Beyond any a doubt

I’ll scream it today,

Forever I’ll shout:

I love you <3


End file.
